These are our cats. On the left is Madison (Maddie, for short) and on the right is Christalena (Chrissy, for short). Aren't they cute? They're also annoying. They make noise at night.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Monday, August 25, 2008
It's What Fun Isn't
So Cassie and I went to Lagoon over the weekend for my work's annual employee party. We're not huge fans of Lagoon and we only ever go if it's free. I think the one thing we were looking forward to was the free meal that came with our free entrance tickets and parking pass. So we arrived up there around 1:30 to witness Lagoon's busiest day since their opening, if you're only counting the days that I went to Lagoon. We had to park far, far away. In a grassy field area. Next to some cows.
As we entered the park we noticed that right by the entrance Lagoon has a full ICEE bar. There must have been at least 15 different flavors and since the temperature was in the high 90's we made a mental note to get some ICEE's later on. But first thing was first: food.
After downing a few hot dogs and burgers (that were served to us by the 10 year olds that make up the Lagoon staff) we decided to hit a few rides. Earlier I mentioned we're not huge fans of Lagoon, and we're not. I guess the thrill of Lagoon just starts to wear off after you get married. In previous visits we found the most enjoyable aspects of Lagoon to be the places where you go and sit down and people on a stage sing for you. So first we did the Spider, which is one of the rides I like. Next we did the new one, Wicked, which was actually pretty cool as well. Then the Lagoon staple, Fire Dragon. After that the plan was to do Rattlesnake Rapids and then call it a day.
So as we headed into Pioneer Village it wasn't long before we saw the end of the line for Rattlesnake Rapids. For those of you familiar with the Lagoon layout the end of the line was right at the Dippin Dots stand adjacent to the Log Ride. For those of you not familiar with the Lagoon layout that is a long effin' line. So we abandoned the Rattlesnake Rapids idea and settled for some Dippin Dots instead. I was excited to see that they had a new flavor since last time: Smores. It sounded really good. Of course they were out. The 10 year old behind the stand told me so, then proceeded to get my Mint Chocolate Chip at a glacial pace.
After Dippin' Dots it was time to go, but we hadn't forgotten about the ICEE's! So we get up to the ICEE place and first you have to purchase the plastic containers and then go and fill them up. I got a large, Cassie got a medium. The total: $14. Ridiculous, but whatever, I'm in the mood for a nice cool ICEE. So we go to fill them up and see that all the ICEE machines are spewing out liquidy syrup instead of frozen carbonated fluff. There was no fluckin' fuff. There was a group of people waiting around all the machines who we learned were all waiting for the ICEE's to freeze. After waiting about 5 minutes I found an employee and asked her if she can just give us a coupon or something so we can fill up our containers somewhere else in the park. She pulled out a 3x5 card and a Sharpie and made me a makeshift coupon.
We went back further in to the park in search of another place that dispensed ICEE's. As I mentioned earlier, today Lagoon was effin' busy and effin' hot, so I wasn't a happy camper. We found a place but had to wait in line for another 15 minutes or so. When we finally got to the window we made our request and were told that their ICEE machine was not working. Disappointed and homicidal, I requested a refund. The 10 year old had to go get her 12 year old manager. She told us we had to go back to where we originally bought the ICEE's for a refund. Less disappointed and more homicidal, I explained that I had spent 14 bucks, waited in 2 lines, and had absolutely NOTHING to show for it and I was not prepared to wait in another line. So the manager girl accompanied me to the first ICEE place. Since they were making such a big deal out of this and turning into a huge bureaucratic mess I was expecting to fill out some paperwork. I was surprised I hadn't heard the word "protocol" but I figured it probably wasn't in their vocabulary. All they did was open up the register and hand me 14 dollars. This really pissed me off. They must make more profit off of their ICEE vending than they do from ticket sales if they make me jump through hoops to get a stinking refund for something I never received.
But I wasn't in the mood to make a scene, I was in the mood to leave. We exited around 4:45. It look a while to find our car because the cows had moved and they were our reference point. On the way home we stopped at a gas station and got 2 ICEE's for $2.40.
As we entered the park we noticed that right by the entrance Lagoon has a full ICEE bar. There must have been at least 15 different flavors and since the temperature was in the high 90's we made a mental note to get some ICEE's later on. But first thing was first: food.
After downing a few hot dogs and burgers (that were served to us by the 10 year olds that make up the Lagoon staff) we decided to hit a few rides. Earlier I mentioned we're not huge fans of Lagoon, and we're not. I guess the thrill of Lagoon just starts to wear off after you get married. In previous visits we found the most enjoyable aspects of Lagoon to be the places where you go and sit down and people on a stage sing for you. So first we did the Spider, which is one of the rides I like. Next we did the new one, Wicked, which was actually pretty cool as well. Then the Lagoon staple, Fire Dragon. After that the plan was to do Rattlesnake Rapids and then call it a day.
So as we headed into Pioneer Village it wasn't long before we saw the end of the line for Rattlesnake Rapids. For those of you familiar with the Lagoon layout the end of the line was right at the Dippin Dots stand adjacent to the Log Ride. For those of you not familiar with the Lagoon layout that is a long effin' line. So we abandoned the Rattlesnake Rapids idea and settled for some Dippin Dots instead. I was excited to see that they had a new flavor since last time: Smores. It sounded really good. Of course they were out. The 10 year old behind the stand told me so, then proceeded to get my Mint Chocolate Chip at a glacial pace.
After Dippin' Dots it was time to go, but we hadn't forgotten about the ICEE's! So we get up to the ICEE place and first you have to purchase the plastic containers and then go and fill them up. I got a large, Cassie got a medium. The total: $14. Ridiculous, but whatever, I'm in the mood for a nice cool ICEE. So we go to fill them up and see that all the ICEE machines are spewing out liquidy syrup instead of frozen carbonated fluff. There was no fluckin' fuff. There was a group of people waiting around all the machines who we learned were all waiting for the ICEE's to freeze. After waiting about 5 minutes I found an employee and asked her if she can just give us a coupon or something so we can fill up our containers somewhere else in the park. She pulled out a 3x5 card and a Sharpie and made me a makeshift coupon.
We went back further in to the park in search of another place that dispensed ICEE's. As I mentioned earlier, today Lagoon was effin' busy and effin' hot, so I wasn't a happy camper. We found a place but had to wait in line for another 15 minutes or so. When we finally got to the window we made our request and were told that their ICEE machine was not working. Disappointed and homicidal, I requested a refund. The 10 year old had to go get her 12 year old manager. She told us we had to go back to where we originally bought the ICEE's for a refund. Less disappointed and more homicidal, I explained that I had spent 14 bucks, waited in 2 lines, and had absolutely NOTHING to show for it and I was not prepared to wait in another line. So the manager girl accompanied me to the first ICEE place. Since they were making such a big deal out of this and turning into a huge bureaucratic mess I was expecting to fill out some paperwork. I was surprised I hadn't heard the word "protocol" but I figured it probably wasn't in their vocabulary. All they did was open up the register and hand me 14 dollars. This really pissed me off. They must make more profit off of their ICEE vending than they do from ticket sales if they make me jump through hoops to get a stinking refund for something I never received.
But I wasn't in the mood to make a scene, I was in the mood to leave. We exited around 4:45. It look a while to find our car because the cows had moved and they were our reference point. On the way home we stopped at a gas station and got 2 ICEE's for $2.40.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
This Movie Has Been Rated DBYFK by the MPAA
It is time for me to share one of my pet peeves, and that is people that bring infants and toddlers to the movies. What is wrong with these people? Honestly.
Tell me if this has happened to you. You're in a movie theater, enjoying the movie when suddenly someone's kid starts crying. Instantly, your movie is ruined. Even the cry-free movie up until this moment is somehow ruined. The dad picks up his kid and proceeds to leave the theater and your thinking, "Good, maybe there's hope, as long as this person doesn't come back. Ever". Then the guy stops when he reaches the side of the theater and starts patting his kid on that back, because he doesn't want to miss the movie either. It's like, excuse me moron, but your kid's incessant whining is not blocking my view. It's EFFING LOUD AND I CAN'T HEAR THE MOVIE!!!. Moving to the side of the theater does NOTHING!!!!
Let me give you new parents a hefty dose of harsh reality. When you have a kid, your theater-going days are OVER! Finito. That's it. At least for a while anyway, or if you have a trustworthy baby sitter. Take your kid to the movies and everyone will hate you. I will hate you. Even if your kid doesn't make a sound the entire movie, I will still hate you. If you're thinking, "maybe if I jiggle them on my knee the whole time maybe he won't..." the answer is NO! And when he starts crying don't look at me with that stupid face that says "I can't help it" because you CAN help it by NOT bringing your freaking kid to the movies.
I know this news might be pretty disappointing to some of you. Well, I'm sorry. I probably didn't soften the blow either. Deal with it. There's hundreds of people in the movie theater that know the rules, which are don't ruin other people's experience. Bringing your whiny kid because you can't wait for the movie to come out on DVD violates those rules. Don't do it.
Tell me if this has happened to you. You're in a movie theater, enjoying the movie when suddenly someone's kid starts crying. Instantly, your movie is ruined. Even the cry-free movie up until this moment is somehow ruined. The dad picks up his kid and proceeds to leave the theater and your thinking, "Good, maybe there's hope, as long as this person doesn't come back. Ever". Then the guy stops when he reaches the side of the theater and starts patting his kid on that back, because he doesn't want to miss the movie either. It's like, excuse me moron, but your kid's incessant whining is not blocking my view. It's EFFING LOUD AND I CAN'T HEAR THE MOVIE!!!. Moving to the side of the theater does NOTHING!!!!
Let me give you new parents a hefty dose of harsh reality. When you have a kid, your theater-going days are OVER! Finito. That's it. At least for a while anyway, or if you have a trustworthy baby sitter. Take your kid to the movies and everyone will hate you. I will hate you. Even if your kid doesn't make a sound the entire movie, I will still hate you. If you're thinking, "maybe if I jiggle them on my knee the whole time maybe he won't..." the answer is NO! And when he starts crying don't look at me with that stupid face that says "I can't help it" because you CAN help it by NOT bringing your freaking kid to the movies.
I know this news might be pretty disappointing to some of you. Well, I'm sorry. I probably didn't soften the blow either. Deal with it. There's hundreds of people in the movie theater that know the rules, which are don't ruin other people's experience. Bringing your whiny kid because you can't wait for the movie to come out on DVD violates those rules. Don't do it.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Job Security
If you are reading this, ask yourself this question: Do you believe you have absolute control over whether or not you maintain your employment with your current job? If you answered 'yes' you either:
1. Are completely naive, or
2. Need to send me an application
Back in the day I used to work for a company called Convergys. It wasn't my ideal job, but it paid the bills. I did my job. I did it well. I felt under appreciated, but I soldiered through it. After about 2 years working there I was promoted for the 2nd time. Shortly after I was promoted, the job I just moved from was outsourced to India. About 2 years later, we received notice that our job would also be "consolidated", which consisted of everyone in our location losing our jobs and our workload being moved elsewhere, namely Florida and yes, India.
I already knew Convergys outsourced to India, so this didn't shock me. This story probably didn't shock you either, which I find sad. People losing their jobs not because of performance but because of saving money has become so commonplace that it is accepted as a part of life.
I went to a different company, RxAmerica. I loved it there. I still do. It was a smaller company, about 500 employees. It was a subsidiary of Longs Drugs. I felt appreciated. I didn't feel underpaid, but I felt I was worth more. I asked for a raise. I didn't receive a yes or no right away, but I was given expectations and the promise that my request would be reevaluated. I fulfilled my promises, and so did they. I was granted the raise. I felt that I had hit the jackpot. A company that cared about me. I did not fear that this company would outsource my job. I planned on staying at RxAmerica for a long time.
Recently Longs and all its subsidiaries was purchased by CVS Caremark, a rather large company. My future with RxAmerica is uncertain. It's possible that not much will change and everything will be fine. It's also possible that I could lose my job. I'm handling this better than you think. The only thing that rubs me the wrong way is that once again I'm reminded that no matter what I do to preserve my job, I can still lose it. I hate not having control over that part of my life. What can you do? We all need jobs to support ourselves, but in this world the only thing you can do to preserve your job is be lucky.
God bless the working stiff.
1. Are completely naive, or
2. Need to send me an application
Back in the day I used to work for a company called Convergys. It wasn't my ideal job, but it paid the bills. I did my job. I did it well. I felt under appreciated, but I soldiered through it. After about 2 years working there I was promoted for the 2nd time. Shortly after I was promoted, the job I just moved from was outsourced to India. About 2 years later, we received notice that our job would also be "consolidated", which consisted of everyone in our location losing our jobs and our workload being moved elsewhere, namely Florida and yes, India.
I already knew Convergys outsourced to India, so this didn't shock me. This story probably didn't shock you either, which I find sad. People losing their jobs not because of performance but because of saving money has become so commonplace that it is accepted as a part of life.
I went to a different company, RxAmerica. I loved it there. I still do. It was a smaller company, about 500 employees. It was a subsidiary of Longs Drugs. I felt appreciated. I didn't feel underpaid, but I felt I was worth more. I asked for a raise. I didn't receive a yes or no right away, but I was given expectations and the promise that my request would be reevaluated. I fulfilled my promises, and so did they. I was granted the raise. I felt that I had hit the jackpot. A company that cared about me. I did not fear that this company would outsource my job. I planned on staying at RxAmerica for a long time.
Recently Longs and all its subsidiaries was purchased by CVS Caremark, a rather large company. My future with RxAmerica is uncertain. It's possible that not much will change and everything will be fine. It's also possible that I could lose my job. I'm handling this better than you think. The only thing that rubs me the wrong way is that once again I'm reminded that no matter what I do to preserve my job, I can still lose it. I hate not having control over that part of my life. What can you do? We all need jobs to support ourselves, but in this world the only thing you can do to preserve your job is be lucky.
God bless the working stiff.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Safe Text and the American Teenager
About a month ago my wife and I were chillaxing at home watching a movie. Around 10:30 PM my wife receives an incoming text message on her cellular device. It's from a local Utah number that neither of us recognize. The text says:
"hi, this is kylie, from the party!"
I never thought my wife could have been a part of some secret lesbian party scene behind my back, and I was right. She confirmed that she didn't know any Kylie and hadn't been to any parties recently. Recognizing an opportunity for some mischief I nabbed the phone and responded:
"The one that puked on my shoes?"
It wasn't long before we received a reply:
"lol. no, i was wearing the red, yellow, and blue bikini, remember?"
Suddenly my little project got a lot more interesting. I know just what to say back:
"Maybe a picture would refresh my memory..."
At this point I was sure I'd pushed the envelope too far and Kylie would at last realize her mistake. The response came quicker than I expected:
"lol k hold on"
Kicking myself for not asking for her credit card number I waited patiently. Cassie was also involved with this as well, although I wasn't sure what her thoughts on it were. Maybe she thought it was funny, maybe she thought I was really immature, maybe she was awaiting the photo of the bikini clad minor with greater anticipation than I. Either way, I was past the point of no return.
Sure enough, a few minutes later we received a message, this time in picture format. The girl couldn't have been over 15 years old, clothed in the aforementioned red, yellow, and blue bikini, and seductively holding an Otter Pop to her mouth. At this point I felt it would be best to end my little project before it spiraled out of control and ended up with me in jail. I wrote back:
"Let me ask you a question. Who do you think you are texting?"
"adam"
"I think you've got the wrong number. Thanks for the picture though."
"who is this?"
"Nobody you know."
"oh, i'm sorry. will you delete that pic?"
"Sure, no prob. Better luck next time."
The picture was eventually deleted from Cassie's cell phone, but not before it it was transferred to a more secure location inside my Hotmail inbox. Some may think it was cruel of me to do what I did. I disagree, I think I was doing that young woman a valuable service. She could have gotten someone a lot worse, who could've gone a lot farther with her. Instead she got me, a caring teacher with unorthodox methods. Say what you want about my actions, but that little girl is going to think twice about texting pictures to strangers from now on. So yes, I do feel like I've made the world a safer place. Let this be a lesson to all.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
FireTeeth
My name is David Kendall, I'm 24 and live in West Valley, Utah with my wife Cassie. I don't like tomato sauce. I was coerced to start this blog by my friend Nick, his blog can be found here.
In homage to Nix Blog, my first blog will blog about the name of my blog. A while back I was in church with Nick and his little nephew Cameron, who was probably 5 or 6 at the time. I can't remember the nature of the conversation but I mentioned something about someones teeth spontaneously ejecting from their mouth (I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes, I routinely talk about morbid and disturbing images in the presence of children). Anyway, to illustrate my point I brought my closed fist to my mouth, fingers out, and quickly extended my fingers to simulate the jettisoning bicuspids. Well, Cameron interpreted this demonstration as flames originating from my mouth. He said something along the lines of, "Yeah, and they'll have fire teeth!". Well, we found this unnatural juxtaposition of words to be quite comical and aesthetically pleasing, so the term stuck, becoming a slurry of usernames, Xbox Live gamertags, and blog names.
In homage to Nix Blog, my first blog will blog about the name of my blog. A while back I was in church with Nick and his little nephew Cameron, who was probably 5 or 6 at the time. I can't remember the nature of the conversation but I mentioned something about someones teeth spontaneously ejecting from their mouth (I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes, I routinely talk about morbid and disturbing images in the presence of children). Anyway, to illustrate my point I brought my closed fist to my mouth, fingers out, and quickly extended my fingers to simulate the jettisoning bicuspids. Well, Cameron interpreted this demonstration as flames originating from my mouth. He said something along the lines of, "Yeah, and they'll have fire teeth!". Well, we found this unnatural juxtaposition of words to be quite comical and aesthetically pleasing, so the term stuck, becoming a slurry of usernames, Xbox Live gamertags, and blog names.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)