It's What Fun Isn't

So Cassie and I went to Lagoon over the weekend for my work's annual employee party. We're not huge fans of Lagoon and we only ever go if it's free. I think the one thing we were looking forward to was the free meal that came with our free entrance tickets and parking pass. So we arrived up there around 1:30 to witness Lagoon's busiest day since their opening, if you're only counting the days that I went to Lagoon. We had to park far, far away. In a grassy field area. Next to some cows.

As we entered the park we noticed that right by the entrance Lagoon has a full ICEE bar. There must have been at least 15 different flavors and since the temperature was in the high 90's we made a mental note to get some ICEE's later on. But first thing was first: food.

After downing a few hot dogs and burgers (that were served to us by the 10 year olds that make up the Lagoon staff) we decided to hit a few rides. Earlier I mentioned we're not huge fans of Lagoon, and we're not. I guess the thrill of Lagoon just starts to wear off after you get married. In previous visits we found the most enjoyable aspects of Lagoon to be the places where you go and sit down and people on a stage sing for you. So first we did the Spider, which is one of the rides I like. Next we did the new one, Wicked, which was actually pretty cool as well. Then the Lagoon staple, Fire Dragon. After that the plan was to do Rattlesnake Rapids and then call it a day.

So as we headed into Pioneer Village it wasn't long before we saw the end of the line for Rattlesnake Rapids. For those of you familiar with the Lagoon layout the end of the line was right at the Dippin Dots stand adjacent to the Log Ride. For those of you not familiar with the Lagoon layout that is a long effin' line. So we abandoned the Rattlesnake Rapids idea and settled for some Dippin Dots instead. I was excited to see that they had a new flavor since last time: Smores. It sounded really good. Of course they were out. The 10 year old behind the stand told me so, then proceeded to get my Mint Chocolate Chip at a glacial pace.

After Dippin' Dots it was time to go, but we hadn't forgotten about the ICEE's! So we get up to the ICEE place and first you have to purchase the plastic containers and then go and fill them up. I got a large, Cassie got a medium. The total: $14. Ridiculous, but whatever, I'm in the mood for a nice cool ICEE. So we go to fill them up and see that all the ICEE machines are spewing out liquidy syrup instead of frozen carbonated fluff. There was no fluckin' fuff. There was a group of people waiting around all the machines who we learned were all waiting for the ICEE's to freeze. After waiting about 5 minutes I found an employee and asked her if she can just give us a coupon or something so we can fill up our containers somewhere else in the park. She pulled out a 3x5 card and a Sharpie and made me a makeshift coupon.

We went back further in to the park in search of another place that dispensed ICEE's. As I mentioned earlier, today Lagoon was effin' busy and effin' hot, so I wasn't a happy camper. We found a place but had to wait in line for another 15 minutes or so. When we finally got to the window we made our request and were told that their ICEE machine was not working. Disappointed and homicidal, I requested a refund. The 10 year old had to go get her 12 year old manager. She told us we had to go back to where we originally bought the ICEE's for a refund. Less disappointed and more homicidal, I explained that I had spent 14 bucks, waited in 2 lines, and had absolutely NOTHING to show for it and I was not prepared to wait in another line. So the manager girl accompanied me to the first ICEE place. Since they were making such a big deal out of this and turning into a huge bureaucratic mess I was expecting to fill out some paperwork. I was surprised I hadn't heard the word "protocol" but I figured it probably wasn't in their vocabulary. All they did was open up the register and hand me 14 dollars. This really pissed me off. They must make more profit off of their ICEE vending than they do from ticket sales if they make me jump through hoops to get a stinking refund for something I never received.

But I wasn't in the mood to make a scene, I was in the mood to leave. We exited around 4:45. It look a while to find our car because the cows had moved and they were our reference point. On the way home we stopped at a gas station and got 2 ICEE's for $2.40.