We decided to see The Curious Case of Benjamin Button over the weekend, it was chosen over Seven Pounds and Yes Man, both of which I would have rather went and saw. In fact, if it weren't for my wife's interest in TCCOBB I probably never would have saw it.
The plot of the movie is basically and old woman on her deathbed who recounts the life of a man she fell in love with who grew younger instead of older. The story is read by the woman's daughter at her bedside via the man's diary, somewhat like the movie Big Fish. The movie is a drama with a little bit of comedy laced in. It definitely had a Forrest Gumpy feel to it. If you enjoyed either Big Fish or Forrest Gump you'd probably like this movie.
Honestly, I cannot fault this movie in any way. Acting: Spot on. Music: Spot on. Cinematography: Spot on. Script: Spot on. Special Effects: Spot on (20 year old Brad Pitt was just as believable as 80 year old Brad Pitt). Seriously, the movie is good. The idea is unique and done so well. The characters are memorable and the parts that are intended to be funny... are funny.
Now for my gripes. Firstly, the movie is long, approximately 9,540 seconds. Now, it doesn't drag mind you, but I don't know about other people but sitting in those movie theatre seats for too long is a pain in the butt, literally. So, do whatever you can to make sure you're comfortable and prepared for the long haul because as long as the movie is, you still don't want to miss any of it. Also I was bothered by the person behind me kicking my seat and once in a while the A/C in the theatre would blow at just the right angle to get a whiff of the old people stink emanating from the couple in front of us taking advantage of their senior citizen discount.
I'd give this movie a 7 or an 8 if I was just rating the movie for myself because it's not really my type of movie. I prefer more action and/or more comedy in my movies but that's just me. The rating I'm going to give this movie is not based on my preferences but based on the strengths of the movie itself.
Did I ever tell you I've been struck by lightning seven times?
9/10
Monday, December 29, 2008
Saturday, December 20, 2008
My Wife the Ballerina
Cassie has been going to an adult ballet class for the past few months and yesterday she had her first "performance". I say "performance" because it was only one dance, out of the five the compromised the entire program. The other four were little children in the dance school and I guess they thought four dances was a little short for reserving an entire rec center so they decided to tack on one more and let the adult class in on the fun. For whatever reason I'm glad they did. Seeing my sweetie move so gracefully on stage once again reminded me that I married an angel. Ain't she pretty?
Sore Neck...
Yesterday my neck was sore. Like, turning your head causes severe pain sore. It was manageable as long as I didn't need to move, although driving was a pain. Instead of getting better, though, it seemed to get worse. Last night I absolutely could NOT find a laying position that didn't cause constant pain. I couldn't get to sleep for the life of me. To top it all off something that I ate yesterday gave me digestive problems and I had to go to the bathroom at 5 AM.
It hasn't been any better today. Despite downing Excedrins like candy I have still found myself couch ridden the entire day. When the Excedrin wears off I find myself in excruciating pain if I move my head in any direction. Another thing I can't do is exert much effort into searching for things, like the Comcast remote for example. I've been watching the same channel for the past 8 hours or so.
This isn't how I imagined spending this Saturday. It was supposed to be the day I finished my Christmas shopping. Now I guess I'll have to find time sometime before next Thursday. Having a sore neck has to be on my Top Ten Things Things That Must Go List, right below frozen butter.
It hasn't been any better today. Despite downing Excedrins like candy I have still found myself couch ridden the entire day. When the Excedrin wears off I find myself in excruciating pain if I move my head in any direction. Another thing I can't do is exert much effort into searching for things, like the Comcast remote for example. I've been watching the same channel for the past 8 hours or so.
This isn't how I imagined spending this Saturday. It was supposed to be the day I finished my Christmas shopping. Now I guess I'll have to find time sometime before next Thursday. Having a sore neck has to be on my Top Ten Things Things That Must Go List, right below frozen butter.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
So Tired...
So I have been working nights at a pharmacy the past 3+ weeks. I leave straight from my regular job and work 4 hours at the pharmacy on top of the 8 I worked already. My days are long. I leave home around 9 in the morning and don't get home till 9:30 PM. This schedule has left me quite drained during the week. Sometimes I go to bed when I get home because I'm completely exhausted. Sometimes I stay up, not that I'm not tired it's just the only time I have to do the things I want to do, like watch TV with Cassie, play video games, or surf the internet a litle. I have a very hard time waking up in the morning and an even harder time staying awake throughout the day.
Now you know how much it sucks for me. Here are some things that make it worse...
People that want me to ring up their freaking groceries at the pharmacy register. I didn't go to school for a year to ring up your effing Malt-O-Meal okay! You'll notice there's a lot of people waiting to pick up their prescriptions and they're probably just as pissed as I am yet you somehow are inconceivably unaware of the plague that you are to society.
Now you know how much it sucks for me. Here are some things that make it worse...
People that want me to ring up their freaking groceries at the pharmacy register. I didn't go to school for a year to ring up your effing Malt-O-Meal okay! You'll notice there's a lot of people waiting to pick up their prescriptions and they're probably just as pissed as I am yet you somehow are inconceivably unaware of the plague that you are to society.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Movie Review: Twilight
I figured I'd start posting movie reviews of movies I go see. First of all, it takes a lot to impress me movie-wise. I'm extremely critical of movies. That said, let us begin.
Let me start by saying that I have read Twilight. I didn't love it, I didn't hate it. It was geared towards teenage girls but I tried my hardest to enjoy it. I was looking forward to the movie, as anyone would be when a book they have read is adapted for the big screen.
I thought the casting was probably the best thing about the movie. I think the producers did a good job selecting actors that fit the characters, most notably: Edward, Bella, Charlie, Jacob, and Alice.
The acting was... bad. And honestly, I can't really blame the actors because the script wasn't that great either. A lot of the dialogue just sounded so forced. Like, the writers just didn't put a lot of thought into it. They knew they had to get certain information across but didn't strive to make it sound natural. Over acting was an issue. For example, Rosalie. We all know that she is not supposed to like Bella, but the movie made it BLATANTLY OBVIOUS. It was just too over the top. Also, the "high school" students in this movie are apparently at a junior high or lower maturity level.
The worst part about this movie is the music. Good music in a movie should be transparent. What I mean by that is, it should blend in with the current mood so that you don't notice it's there. There were several moments in this movie that I found myself pondering, "What is up with this music?" Another movie no-no is dead air space. Generally, you should always be hearing some background noise or music so that there is something to be heard when there is no dialogue. This movie didn't follow this idea, and there were points when nobody was saying anything and it was dead silent, which I feel is uncomfortable for the audience.
All in all, this movie almost felt like an Independent Indie Film. Sub par acting, weird music, forced dialogue, over acting, the only thing that is missing is a low budget, which apparently this movie did not have because the special effects were actually quite nice. The vampire movements looked ok, although I didn't feel they were adapted too well. Sometimes when they were running there was this sort of blur effect, and other times they just were running at an incredible rate. I prefered the latter, when reading the book I didn't picture the blurred movements that the movie depicted. Maybe that one is just personal preference.
So what it all comes down to is that you'll enjoy the movie if you were a fan of the book. Maybe. I, for one, felt that it could have been done so much better. I've heard other people say they loved it and honestly I feel that is only possible if you tell yourself you're going to love it before you watch it because as far as films go, it's just not that good.
5/10
Let me start by saying that I have read Twilight. I didn't love it, I didn't hate it. It was geared towards teenage girls but I tried my hardest to enjoy it. I was looking forward to the movie, as anyone would be when a book they have read is adapted for the big screen.
I thought the casting was probably the best thing about the movie. I think the producers did a good job selecting actors that fit the characters, most notably: Edward, Bella, Charlie, Jacob, and Alice.
The acting was... bad. And honestly, I can't really blame the actors because the script wasn't that great either. A lot of the dialogue just sounded so forced. Like, the writers just didn't put a lot of thought into it. They knew they had to get certain information across but didn't strive to make it sound natural. Over acting was an issue. For example, Rosalie. We all know that she is not supposed to like Bella, but the movie made it BLATANTLY OBVIOUS. It was just too over the top. Also, the "high school" students in this movie are apparently at a junior high or lower maturity level.
The worst part about this movie is the music. Good music in a movie should be transparent. What I mean by that is, it should blend in with the current mood so that you don't notice it's there. There were several moments in this movie that I found myself pondering, "What is up with this music?" Another movie no-no is dead air space. Generally, you should always be hearing some background noise or music so that there is something to be heard when there is no dialogue. This movie didn't follow this idea, and there were points when nobody was saying anything and it was dead silent, which I feel is uncomfortable for the audience.
All in all, this movie almost felt like an Independent Indie Film. Sub par acting, weird music, forced dialogue, over acting, the only thing that is missing is a low budget, which apparently this movie did not have because the special effects were actually quite nice. The vampire movements looked ok, although I didn't feel they were adapted too well. Sometimes when they were running there was this sort of blur effect, and other times they just were running at an incredible rate. I prefered the latter, when reading the book I didn't picture the blurred movements that the movie depicted. Maybe that one is just personal preference.
So what it all comes down to is that you'll enjoy the movie if you were a fan of the book. Maybe. I, for one, felt that it could have been done so much better. I've heard other people say they loved it and honestly I feel that is only possible if you tell yourself you're going to love it before you watch it because as far as films go, it's just not that good.
5/10
Monday, November 17, 2008
The Real Game
So Cassie and I went to he Real Salt Lake game Saturday night. We had to make a quick stop at a wedding reception for one of Cassie's friends before heading to the game. It look longer than I wanted but we still arrived at Sandy City Hall about 20 minutes before kickoff, which should've been plenty of time.
Now, since Rio Tinto Stadium doesn't have a large quantity of parking spaces, there are a lot of buses that stop off at certain places that shuttle fans to the stadium. As we were approaching the City Hall we were right behind one of the buses, which was mostly full. We were bummed since we obviously weren't going to make this shuttle and would have to wait for the next one.
After we parked the car we started heading to the bus stop only to behold a massive mob of people waiting for the next shuttle. We make our way to the end of the line and wonder if we should just walk to the stadium. I decide to wait for the next shuttle and see what it looked like. I mean, they have Staff people at the bus stops that (I would assume) are able to communicate with the bus people. Obviously this stop was in need of some empty buses to get all these people to the stadium before kickoff.
So the next bus comes and it is almost full. Maybe 5 more people were able to get on. Cassie and I looked at each other for a brief moment and then began hoofing it down the road towards the stadium. So, according to Google maps we walked about 1 mile to the stadium, but it felt like a lot longer. Mainly since it was mostly uphill.
The first part of the walk was ok, because we would see buses full of people pass by us and we would think, yeah we made the right choice. Then towards the 2nd half of our trek we started to notice empty buses pass us by...
Crap.
Anyway, we made it and thanks to the national anthem and starting player announcements we only missed about 3 minutes of the game. Yay.
Then RSL lost. But hey, they gave us a good season and I look forward to the next.
Now, since Rio Tinto Stadium doesn't have a large quantity of parking spaces, there are a lot of buses that stop off at certain places that shuttle fans to the stadium. As we were approaching the City Hall we were right behind one of the buses, which was mostly full. We were bummed since we obviously weren't going to make this shuttle and would have to wait for the next one.
After we parked the car we started heading to the bus stop only to behold a massive mob of people waiting for the next shuttle. We make our way to the end of the line and wonder if we should just walk to the stadium. I decide to wait for the next shuttle and see what it looked like. I mean, they have Staff people at the bus stops that (I would assume) are able to communicate with the bus people. Obviously this stop was in need of some empty buses to get all these people to the stadium before kickoff.
So the next bus comes and it is almost full. Maybe 5 more people were able to get on. Cassie and I looked at each other for a brief moment and then began hoofing it down the road towards the stadium. So, according to Google maps we walked about 1 mile to the stadium, but it felt like a lot longer. Mainly since it was mostly uphill.
The first part of the walk was ok, because we would see buses full of people pass by us and we would think, yeah we made the right choice. Then towards the 2nd half of our trek we started to notice empty buses pass us by...
Crap.
Anyway, we made it and thanks to the national anthem and starting player announcements we only missed about 3 minutes of the game. Yay.
Then RSL lost. But hey, they gave us a good season and I look forward to the next.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Blog Gender Analyzer
This is in response to http://www.genderanalyzer.com giving me a "51% written by a male" analysis.
Pork Ribs. Deathblow. Testosterone. High School Football. Quentin Tarantino. Vault Soda. Rated R. Bloody Stump. Budweiser Commercials. Sperm Count. Black & Decker. Bench Press. Auto Zone. Pornography. Motocross. Jack Bauer. No Ma'am. Bicep. Hernia. Remote Control. Penis.
Pork Ribs. Deathblow. Testosterone. High School Football. Quentin Tarantino. Vault Soda. Rated R. Bloody Stump. Budweiser Commercials. Sperm Count. Black & Decker. Bench Press. Auto Zone. Pornography. Motocross. Jack Bauer. No Ma'am. Bicep. Hernia. Remote Control. Penis.
Football
First of all, this blog as nothing to do with that silly sport where they wear pads and helmets and is referred to as "American Football" by 95% of Earth. This is about the most popular sport on the face of the planet: Football (or Soccer as we Yanks call it).
Soccer is the most popular sport in pretty much every country except here in the good 'ol US of A (oh and let us not forget Canada, they have their pond polo all for themselves). I think it is really lame how negative some of us Americanos are towards Soccer. I roll my eyes every time someone complains about it being "boring" or "devoid of action". Although it is true that games oftentimes have low scores it is not by an means boring. To enjoy Soccer you have to appreciate the skill involved. Let's face it, what else have you done with your feet besides walk yourself from the couch to the kitchen?
Here's my definition of boring: Time outs, waiting for the next pitch, commercial breaks, waiting for the next play, and delay of game. Do these sound familiar? Well guess what, Soccer has none of them. The halves are 45 minutes, no commercial breaks or time outs whatsoever. Sometimes play is delayed due to injuries or post foul arguing, but all that time is tacked on at the end of the half anyway.
And another thing. Soccer players are freaking fit. The average play in football is probably around 5 seconds, with about 30 seconds in between plays. Basketball is a little more tough as the players constantly have to run up and down court. But even these sports have time outs, commercial breaks, substitutions and whatnot. I'm not even gonna go into baseball. Soccer players play the entire 45 minutes, no stopping. No time outs, no commercial breaks. Each team is allowed 3 substitutions, and they usually keep that last one for emergencies. This means of the 11 starting players, 9 of them will play the entire game.
So give Soccer a break, if you think it's boring then all of the other sports out there are even more boring. There's a reason every other country out there worships soccer.
Go RSL.
Soccer is the most popular sport in pretty much every country except here in the good 'ol US of A (oh and let us not forget Canada, they have their pond polo all for themselves). I think it is really lame how negative some of us Americanos are towards Soccer. I roll my eyes every time someone complains about it being "boring" or "devoid of action". Although it is true that games oftentimes have low scores it is not by an means boring. To enjoy Soccer you have to appreciate the skill involved. Let's face it, what else have you done with your feet besides walk yourself from the couch to the kitchen?
Here's my definition of boring: Time outs, waiting for the next pitch, commercial breaks, waiting for the next play, and delay of game. Do these sound familiar? Well guess what, Soccer has none of them. The halves are 45 minutes, no commercial breaks or time outs whatsoever. Sometimes play is delayed due to injuries or post foul arguing, but all that time is tacked on at the end of the half anyway.
And another thing. Soccer players are freaking fit. The average play in football is probably around 5 seconds, with about 30 seconds in between plays. Basketball is a little more tough as the players constantly have to run up and down court. But even these sports have time outs, commercial breaks, substitutions and whatnot. I'm not even gonna go into baseball. Soccer players play the entire 45 minutes, no stopping. No time outs, no commercial breaks. Each team is allowed 3 substitutions, and they usually keep that last one for emergencies. This means of the 11 starting players, 9 of them will play the entire game.
So give Soccer a break, if you think it's boring then all of the other sports out there are even more boring. There's a reason every other country out there worships soccer.
Go RSL.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The Story of the Stupid Samaritan
So I ducked out early from work yesterday to take care of some things related to my pharmacy externship that I was starting. On my way home from my errands traffic suddenly slowed in the lane that I was in while the left lane continued at cruising speeds. The last of the cars in front of me switched to the left lane I beheld a stalled car several yards in front of me. The lights were off and the engine was not running. Since I had a couple hours before I had to be at the pharmacy and since it was raining I decided to be a good citizen and help this guy with his problem. I switched on my emergency blinkers and hopped out of my car. The guy was just getting out of his car and asked if I had any jumper cables, I suggested we first push his car to the side of the road.
Some redheaded girl in a white SUV also stopped to help this guy and together we pushed the car to the side of the road. I ran back to my car and parked behind his car. I didn't have any cables but luckily the redhead (I didn't get either of their names) had some brand new ones. So she turned her SUV around to face the dead car so we could get the cables to reach.
Now, let me explain that I haven't had a whole lot of experience with jumper cables. I thought I knew the jist of it but at this point I was more than willing to let someone else take the lead because chances are they would have a better idea of the procedure than I.
Well the girl handed me the cables, so I went to the dead car's battery and checked it out. I was fairly confident that the cables attached onto the battery and you had to know which cable was attached to which polarity (positive or negative). I looked for the plus or minus sign but couldn't see them. I asked the guy if he knew which was which. He took the cables and hooked them up. I thought, good this guy must know what he's doing.
So I go to the SUV's battery. I hesitate because I'm not sure which cable is attached to which polarity at the dead battery's end. The guy then instructed me where to put each clamp. So we fire up the SUV and the guy tries to get his car started.
Nothing.
Since I'm so naive I think the problem must be unrelated to the battery. I also notice that there is smoke coming off of the clamps on each battery. Anyone who knows about this stuff would recognize this gigantic red flag. Me, on the other hand, having limited experience with jumper cables just assumed this was the norm. Regardless, we realize the jumper cables failed so I go to remove them. Part of my hand touched the metal part of the clamp I got a nice dose of searing hot pain. That's when we noticed that the rubber sheilding of the cables were melting away from the inner wiring... for the entire length of the cable. Part of the cable was touching my shirt and the rubber was fused onto my shirt, that is, the rubber liquified from the heat and then solidified on my shirt. Yeah, it was that hot.
So what happened was (I did some internet research when I got home) that the cables were not hooked up correctly and there was WAY TOO MUCH current going through the wires. Not only was it generating a massive amount of heat in the cable, it was also heating up the battery as well and we were all lucky the battery didn't explode showering us in magma battery acid.
Anyway, I told the girl to not use those cables again (apparently none of us had a lot of experience with this and we figured the (brand new) cables were faulty). So I just bailed. I offered to call someone for the guy but he had a phone. The girl offered to drive him somewhere but he declined. I figured I'd done all I could and just got the eff out of there.
So, without further ado, proper jumper cable procedures:
Start with both engines off.
Step 1: Attach red cable to the Positive end of the working battery (Positive is the bigger of the two)
Step 2: Attach black cable to the Negative end of the working battery.
Step 3: Attach the other red cable to the Positive end of the dead battery.
Step 4: Attach the other black cable to a metal part of the dead engine. Some will say to attach it to the Negative end of the battery, which will work, but it is not the preferred way. You just need to ground this cable.
Step 5: Start up the working engine.
Step 6: Attempt to start the dead engine.
Thanks for playing.
Some redheaded girl in a white SUV also stopped to help this guy and together we pushed the car to the side of the road. I ran back to my car and parked behind his car. I didn't have any cables but luckily the redhead (I didn't get either of their names) had some brand new ones. So she turned her SUV around to face the dead car so we could get the cables to reach.
Now, let me explain that I haven't had a whole lot of experience with jumper cables. I thought I knew the jist of it but at this point I was more than willing to let someone else take the lead because chances are they would have a better idea of the procedure than I.
Well the girl handed me the cables, so I went to the dead car's battery and checked it out. I was fairly confident that the cables attached onto the battery and you had to know which cable was attached to which polarity (positive or negative). I looked for the plus or minus sign but couldn't see them. I asked the guy if he knew which was which. He took the cables and hooked them up. I thought, good this guy must know what he's doing.
So I go to the SUV's battery. I hesitate because I'm not sure which cable is attached to which polarity at the dead battery's end. The guy then instructed me where to put each clamp. So we fire up the SUV and the guy tries to get his car started.
Nothing.
Since I'm so naive I think the problem must be unrelated to the battery. I also notice that there is smoke coming off of the clamps on each battery. Anyone who knows about this stuff would recognize this gigantic red flag. Me, on the other hand, having limited experience with jumper cables just assumed this was the norm. Regardless, we realize the jumper cables failed so I go to remove them. Part of my hand touched the metal part of the clamp I got a nice dose of searing hot pain. That's when we noticed that the rubber sheilding of the cables were melting away from the inner wiring... for the entire length of the cable. Part of the cable was touching my shirt and the rubber was fused onto my shirt, that is, the rubber liquified from the heat and then solidified on my shirt. Yeah, it was that hot.
So what happened was (I did some internet research when I got home) that the cables were not hooked up correctly and there was WAY TOO MUCH current going through the wires. Not only was it generating a massive amount of heat in the cable, it was also heating up the battery as well and we were all lucky the battery didn't explode showering us in magma battery acid.
Anyway, I told the girl to not use those cables again (apparently none of us had a lot of experience with this and we figured the (brand new) cables were faulty). So I just bailed. I offered to call someone for the guy but he had a phone. The girl offered to drive him somewhere but he declined. I figured I'd done all I could and just got the eff out of there.
So, without further ado, proper jumper cable procedures:
Start with both engines off.
Step 1: Attach red cable to the Positive end of the working battery (Positive is the bigger of the two)
Step 2: Attach black cable to the Negative end of the working battery.
Step 3: Attach the other red cable to the Positive end of the dead battery.
Step 4: Attach the other black cable to a metal part of the dead engine. Some will say to attach it to the Negative end of the battery, which will work, but it is not the preferred way. You just need to ground this cable.
Step 5: Start up the working engine.
Step 6: Attempt to start the dead engine.
Thanks for playing.
Monday, November 3, 2008
People Who Care
I've added gadget that allows you to "follow" my blog and get updates when I post new stuff. I titled it "People Who Care". Right now there is a zero next to People Who Care, indicating that nobody cares. Please do something about this, it is very depressing.
:)
:)
Creepy Guy
First of all, my bad for not blogging for so long. I'm a horrible blogger, and I have let you all down. For shame.
Now that that's out of the way, let's get to my story. I went to Albertson's the other day to pick up my wife's prescription and do some grocery shopping. Since perishables were on my list, I decided to head to the pharmacy first.
So I went to the drop off place and they told me the Rx was ready I just needed to pick it up and the pick up place. There were about 4 people in the line to pick up prescriptions, so I found my place at the end of it.
Shortly afterwards I felt someone take their place behind me in line. "Have you been here long?". I replied that I just barely got here. "Yeah, I'm just picking up my pill that helps me lose weight. It's great." I'm thinking, ok dude I didn't ask for your life story. "Yeah, before I was on this pill I had a serious weight problem, do you have that same challenge?"
wtf?
Ok, now bear in mind I hadn't looked at or even offered up anything to advance this one sided conversation, so I don't know what propelled this guy to up and call me fat. So I finally turn and look at the guy. Now, I'm well aware that I have packed on some poundage in the past years so I sympathize with pleasantly plump personnel because I know how easy it is to put it on and how hard it is to take it off. I'm not gonna go easy on this guy because you gotta be some kinda douche to call a stranger out like that in public. If this guy used to have a weight problem it must of been pretty freaking serious cuz I'd say he still has a pretty bad problem. His man boobies jutted out as though he was wearing one of those crazy Madonna cone bras underneath.
He started counselling me on how my "problem" may not by my fault. I told him I was pretty sure it was my fault because I happen to like fast food and don't get enough exercise. After this conversation we moved on to business. This guy was starting to scare me. He could not sense my disintersted aura and silent prayers for him to shut up and leave me alone. He kept talking to me about business management and how employees are liabilities. After everything he said he would follow up with "You understand what I'm saying?". Soon I was just waiting for him to pull out a knife and stab me.
Finally it was my turn to pick up my prescription. This pleased me because there is a line you're supposed to stay behind to protect patient confidentiality. This line did not phase Creepy Guy. He crossed the threshold without hesitation and continued his mundane ramblings. Still, I felt a little better. In the presence of a pharamacist, protected by 3 feet of counter, the chance of a flash stabbing might have decreased a little.
Luckily for me, Creepy Guy transitioned away from me and started talking with the pharmacist. I finalized my transaction and got the eff outta there. I still had to buy groceries. I kept one eye out for Creepy Guy the whole time, prepared to abandon my shopping cart full of unpurchased groceries had he decided to track me down and retreat home quasi-victorious with the medication. Luckily I didn't see him again. Does Cassie go through an episode like this every time she goes shopping?
Now that that's out of the way, let's get to my story. I went to Albertson's the other day to pick up my wife's prescription and do some grocery shopping. Since perishables were on my list, I decided to head to the pharmacy first.
So I went to the drop off place and they told me the Rx was ready I just needed to pick it up and the pick up place. There were about 4 people in the line to pick up prescriptions, so I found my place at the end of it.
Shortly afterwards I felt someone take their place behind me in line. "Have you been here long?". I replied that I just barely got here. "Yeah, I'm just picking up my pill that helps me lose weight. It's great." I'm thinking, ok dude I didn't ask for your life story. "Yeah, before I was on this pill I had a serious weight problem, do you have that same challenge?"
wtf?
Ok, now bear in mind I hadn't looked at or even offered up anything to advance this one sided conversation, so I don't know what propelled this guy to up and call me fat. So I finally turn and look at the guy. Now, I'm well aware that I have packed on some poundage in the past years so I sympathize with pleasantly plump personnel because I know how easy it is to put it on and how hard it is to take it off. I'm not gonna go easy on this guy because you gotta be some kinda douche to call a stranger out like that in public. If this guy used to have a weight problem it must of been pretty freaking serious cuz I'd say he still has a pretty bad problem. His man boobies jutted out as though he was wearing one of those crazy Madonna cone bras underneath.
He started counselling me on how my "problem" may not by my fault. I told him I was pretty sure it was my fault because I happen to like fast food and don't get enough exercise. After this conversation we moved on to business. This guy was starting to scare me. He could not sense my disintersted aura and silent prayers for him to shut up and leave me alone. He kept talking to me about business management and how employees are liabilities. After everything he said he would follow up with "You understand what I'm saying?". Soon I was just waiting for him to pull out a knife and stab me.
Finally it was my turn to pick up my prescription. This pleased me because there is a line you're supposed to stay behind to protect patient confidentiality. This line did not phase Creepy Guy. He crossed the threshold without hesitation and continued his mundane ramblings. Still, I felt a little better. In the presence of a pharamacist, protected by 3 feet of counter, the chance of a flash stabbing might have decreased a little.
Luckily for me, Creepy Guy transitioned away from me and started talking with the pharmacist. I finalized my transaction and got the eff outta there. I still had to buy groceries. I kept one eye out for Creepy Guy the whole time, prepared to abandon my shopping cart full of unpurchased groceries had he decided to track me down and retreat home quasi-victorious with the medication. Luckily I didn't see him again. Does Cassie go through an episode like this every time she goes shopping?
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Cats
These are our cats. On the left is Madison (Maddie, for short) and on the right is Christalena (Chrissy, for short). Aren't they cute? They're also annoying. They make noise at night.
Monday, August 25, 2008
It's What Fun Isn't
So Cassie and I went to Lagoon over the weekend for my work's annual employee party. We're not huge fans of Lagoon and we only ever go if it's free. I think the one thing we were looking forward to was the free meal that came with our free entrance tickets and parking pass. So we arrived up there around 1:30 to witness Lagoon's busiest day since their opening, if you're only counting the days that I went to Lagoon. We had to park far, far away. In a grassy field area. Next to some cows.
As we entered the park we noticed that right by the entrance Lagoon has a full ICEE bar. There must have been at least 15 different flavors and since the temperature was in the high 90's we made a mental note to get some ICEE's later on. But first thing was first: food.
After downing a few hot dogs and burgers (that were served to us by the 10 year olds that make up the Lagoon staff) we decided to hit a few rides. Earlier I mentioned we're not huge fans of Lagoon, and we're not. I guess the thrill of Lagoon just starts to wear off after you get married. In previous visits we found the most enjoyable aspects of Lagoon to be the places where you go and sit down and people on a stage sing for you. So first we did the Spider, which is one of the rides I like. Next we did the new one, Wicked, which was actually pretty cool as well. Then the Lagoon staple, Fire Dragon. After that the plan was to do Rattlesnake Rapids and then call it a day.
So as we headed into Pioneer Village it wasn't long before we saw the end of the line for Rattlesnake Rapids. For those of you familiar with the Lagoon layout the end of the line was right at the Dippin Dots stand adjacent to the Log Ride. For those of you not familiar with the Lagoon layout that is a long effin' line. So we abandoned the Rattlesnake Rapids idea and settled for some Dippin Dots instead. I was excited to see that they had a new flavor since last time: Smores. It sounded really good. Of course they were out. The 10 year old behind the stand told me so, then proceeded to get my Mint Chocolate Chip at a glacial pace.
After Dippin' Dots it was time to go, but we hadn't forgotten about the ICEE's! So we get up to the ICEE place and first you have to purchase the plastic containers and then go and fill them up. I got a large, Cassie got a medium. The total: $14. Ridiculous, but whatever, I'm in the mood for a nice cool ICEE. So we go to fill them up and see that all the ICEE machines are spewing out liquidy syrup instead of frozen carbonated fluff. There was no fluckin' fuff. There was a group of people waiting around all the machines who we learned were all waiting for the ICEE's to freeze. After waiting about 5 minutes I found an employee and asked her if she can just give us a coupon or something so we can fill up our containers somewhere else in the park. She pulled out a 3x5 card and a Sharpie and made me a makeshift coupon.
We went back further in to the park in search of another place that dispensed ICEE's. As I mentioned earlier, today Lagoon was effin' busy and effin' hot, so I wasn't a happy camper. We found a place but had to wait in line for another 15 minutes or so. When we finally got to the window we made our request and were told that their ICEE machine was not working. Disappointed and homicidal, I requested a refund. The 10 year old had to go get her 12 year old manager. She told us we had to go back to where we originally bought the ICEE's for a refund. Less disappointed and more homicidal, I explained that I had spent 14 bucks, waited in 2 lines, and had absolutely NOTHING to show for it and I was not prepared to wait in another line. So the manager girl accompanied me to the first ICEE place. Since they were making such a big deal out of this and turning into a huge bureaucratic mess I was expecting to fill out some paperwork. I was surprised I hadn't heard the word "protocol" but I figured it probably wasn't in their vocabulary. All they did was open up the register and hand me 14 dollars. This really pissed me off. They must make more profit off of their ICEE vending than they do from ticket sales if they make me jump through hoops to get a stinking refund for something I never received.
But I wasn't in the mood to make a scene, I was in the mood to leave. We exited around 4:45. It look a while to find our car because the cows had moved and they were our reference point. On the way home we stopped at a gas station and got 2 ICEE's for $2.40.
As we entered the park we noticed that right by the entrance Lagoon has a full ICEE bar. There must have been at least 15 different flavors and since the temperature was in the high 90's we made a mental note to get some ICEE's later on. But first thing was first: food.
After downing a few hot dogs and burgers (that were served to us by the 10 year olds that make up the Lagoon staff) we decided to hit a few rides. Earlier I mentioned we're not huge fans of Lagoon, and we're not. I guess the thrill of Lagoon just starts to wear off after you get married. In previous visits we found the most enjoyable aspects of Lagoon to be the places where you go and sit down and people on a stage sing for you. So first we did the Spider, which is one of the rides I like. Next we did the new one, Wicked, which was actually pretty cool as well. Then the Lagoon staple, Fire Dragon. After that the plan was to do Rattlesnake Rapids and then call it a day.
So as we headed into Pioneer Village it wasn't long before we saw the end of the line for Rattlesnake Rapids. For those of you familiar with the Lagoon layout the end of the line was right at the Dippin Dots stand adjacent to the Log Ride. For those of you not familiar with the Lagoon layout that is a long effin' line. So we abandoned the Rattlesnake Rapids idea and settled for some Dippin Dots instead. I was excited to see that they had a new flavor since last time: Smores. It sounded really good. Of course they were out. The 10 year old behind the stand told me so, then proceeded to get my Mint Chocolate Chip at a glacial pace.
After Dippin' Dots it was time to go, but we hadn't forgotten about the ICEE's! So we get up to the ICEE place and first you have to purchase the plastic containers and then go and fill them up. I got a large, Cassie got a medium. The total: $14. Ridiculous, but whatever, I'm in the mood for a nice cool ICEE. So we go to fill them up and see that all the ICEE machines are spewing out liquidy syrup instead of frozen carbonated fluff. There was no fluckin' fuff. There was a group of people waiting around all the machines who we learned were all waiting for the ICEE's to freeze. After waiting about 5 minutes I found an employee and asked her if she can just give us a coupon or something so we can fill up our containers somewhere else in the park. She pulled out a 3x5 card and a Sharpie and made me a makeshift coupon.
We went back further in to the park in search of another place that dispensed ICEE's. As I mentioned earlier, today Lagoon was effin' busy and effin' hot, so I wasn't a happy camper. We found a place but had to wait in line for another 15 minutes or so. When we finally got to the window we made our request and were told that their ICEE machine was not working. Disappointed and homicidal, I requested a refund. The 10 year old had to go get her 12 year old manager. She told us we had to go back to where we originally bought the ICEE's for a refund. Less disappointed and more homicidal, I explained that I had spent 14 bucks, waited in 2 lines, and had absolutely NOTHING to show for it and I was not prepared to wait in another line. So the manager girl accompanied me to the first ICEE place. Since they were making such a big deal out of this and turning into a huge bureaucratic mess I was expecting to fill out some paperwork. I was surprised I hadn't heard the word "protocol" but I figured it probably wasn't in their vocabulary. All they did was open up the register and hand me 14 dollars. This really pissed me off. They must make more profit off of their ICEE vending than they do from ticket sales if they make me jump through hoops to get a stinking refund for something I never received.
But I wasn't in the mood to make a scene, I was in the mood to leave. We exited around 4:45. It look a while to find our car because the cows had moved and they were our reference point. On the way home we stopped at a gas station and got 2 ICEE's for $2.40.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
This Movie Has Been Rated DBYFK by the MPAA
It is time for me to share one of my pet peeves, and that is people that bring infants and toddlers to the movies. What is wrong with these people? Honestly.
Tell me if this has happened to you. You're in a movie theater, enjoying the movie when suddenly someone's kid starts crying. Instantly, your movie is ruined. Even the cry-free movie up until this moment is somehow ruined. The dad picks up his kid and proceeds to leave the theater and your thinking, "Good, maybe there's hope, as long as this person doesn't come back. Ever". Then the guy stops when he reaches the side of the theater and starts patting his kid on that back, because he doesn't want to miss the movie either. It's like, excuse me moron, but your kid's incessant whining is not blocking my view. It's EFFING LOUD AND I CAN'T HEAR THE MOVIE!!!. Moving to the side of the theater does NOTHING!!!!
Let me give you new parents a hefty dose of harsh reality. When you have a kid, your theater-going days are OVER! Finito. That's it. At least for a while anyway, or if you have a trustworthy baby sitter. Take your kid to the movies and everyone will hate you. I will hate you. Even if your kid doesn't make a sound the entire movie, I will still hate you. If you're thinking, "maybe if I jiggle them on my knee the whole time maybe he won't..." the answer is NO! And when he starts crying don't look at me with that stupid face that says "I can't help it" because you CAN help it by NOT bringing your freaking kid to the movies.
I know this news might be pretty disappointing to some of you. Well, I'm sorry. I probably didn't soften the blow either. Deal with it. There's hundreds of people in the movie theater that know the rules, which are don't ruin other people's experience. Bringing your whiny kid because you can't wait for the movie to come out on DVD violates those rules. Don't do it.
Tell me if this has happened to you. You're in a movie theater, enjoying the movie when suddenly someone's kid starts crying. Instantly, your movie is ruined. Even the cry-free movie up until this moment is somehow ruined. The dad picks up his kid and proceeds to leave the theater and your thinking, "Good, maybe there's hope, as long as this person doesn't come back. Ever". Then the guy stops when he reaches the side of the theater and starts patting his kid on that back, because he doesn't want to miss the movie either. It's like, excuse me moron, but your kid's incessant whining is not blocking my view. It's EFFING LOUD AND I CAN'T HEAR THE MOVIE!!!. Moving to the side of the theater does NOTHING!!!!
Let me give you new parents a hefty dose of harsh reality. When you have a kid, your theater-going days are OVER! Finito. That's it. At least for a while anyway, or if you have a trustworthy baby sitter. Take your kid to the movies and everyone will hate you. I will hate you. Even if your kid doesn't make a sound the entire movie, I will still hate you. If you're thinking, "maybe if I jiggle them on my knee the whole time maybe he won't..." the answer is NO! And when he starts crying don't look at me with that stupid face that says "I can't help it" because you CAN help it by NOT bringing your freaking kid to the movies.
I know this news might be pretty disappointing to some of you. Well, I'm sorry. I probably didn't soften the blow either. Deal with it. There's hundreds of people in the movie theater that know the rules, which are don't ruin other people's experience. Bringing your whiny kid because you can't wait for the movie to come out on DVD violates those rules. Don't do it.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Job Security
If you are reading this, ask yourself this question: Do you believe you have absolute control over whether or not you maintain your employment with your current job? If you answered 'yes' you either:
1. Are completely naive, or
2. Need to send me an application
Back in the day I used to work for a company called Convergys. It wasn't my ideal job, but it paid the bills. I did my job. I did it well. I felt under appreciated, but I soldiered through it. After about 2 years working there I was promoted for the 2nd time. Shortly after I was promoted, the job I just moved from was outsourced to India. About 2 years later, we received notice that our job would also be "consolidated", which consisted of everyone in our location losing our jobs and our workload being moved elsewhere, namely Florida and yes, India.
I already knew Convergys outsourced to India, so this didn't shock me. This story probably didn't shock you either, which I find sad. People losing their jobs not because of performance but because of saving money has become so commonplace that it is accepted as a part of life.
I went to a different company, RxAmerica. I loved it there. I still do. It was a smaller company, about 500 employees. It was a subsidiary of Longs Drugs. I felt appreciated. I didn't feel underpaid, but I felt I was worth more. I asked for a raise. I didn't receive a yes or no right away, but I was given expectations and the promise that my request would be reevaluated. I fulfilled my promises, and so did they. I was granted the raise. I felt that I had hit the jackpot. A company that cared about me. I did not fear that this company would outsource my job. I planned on staying at RxAmerica for a long time.
Recently Longs and all its subsidiaries was purchased by CVS Caremark, a rather large company. My future with RxAmerica is uncertain. It's possible that not much will change and everything will be fine. It's also possible that I could lose my job. I'm handling this better than you think. The only thing that rubs me the wrong way is that once again I'm reminded that no matter what I do to preserve my job, I can still lose it. I hate not having control over that part of my life. What can you do? We all need jobs to support ourselves, but in this world the only thing you can do to preserve your job is be lucky.
God bless the working stiff.
1. Are completely naive, or
2. Need to send me an application
Back in the day I used to work for a company called Convergys. It wasn't my ideal job, but it paid the bills. I did my job. I did it well. I felt under appreciated, but I soldiered through it. After about 2 years working there I was promoted for the 2nd time. Shortly after I was promoted, the job I just moved from was outsourced to India. About 2 years later, we received notice that our job would also be "consolidated", which consisted of everyone in our location losing our jobs and our workload being moved elsewhere, namely Florida and yes, India.
I already knew Convergys outsourced to India, so this didn't shock me. This story probably didn't shock you either, which I find sad. People losing their jobs not because of performance but because of saving money has become so commonplace that it is accepted as a part of life.
I went to a different company, RxAmerica. I loved it there. I still do. It was a smaller company, about 500 employees. It was a subsidiary of Longs Drugs. I felt appreciated. I didn't feel underpaid, but I felt I was worth more. I asked for a raise. I didn't receive a yes or no right away, but I was given expectations and the promise that my request would be reevaluated. I fulfilled my promises, and so did they. I was granted the raise. I felt that I had hit the jackpot. A company that cared about me. I did not fear that this company would outsource my job. I planned on staying at RxAmerica for a long time.
Recently Longs and all its subsidiaries was purchased by CVS Caremark, a rather large company. My future with RxAmerica is uncertain. It's possible that not much will change and everything will be fine. It's also possible that I could lose my job. I'm handling this better than you think. The only thing that rubs me the wrong way is that once again I'm reminded that no matter what I do to preserve my job, I can still lose it. I hate not having control over that part of my life. What can you do? We all need jobs to support ourselves, but in this world the only thing you can do to preserve your job is be lucky.
God bless the working stiff.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Safe Text and the American Teenager
About a month ago my wife and I were chillaxing at home watching a movie. Around 10:30 PM my wife receives an incoming text message on her cellular device. It's from a local Utah number that neither of us recognize. The text says:
"hi, this is kylie, from the party!"
I never thought my wife could have been a part of some secret lesbian party scene behind my back, and I was right. She confirmed that she didn't know any Kylie and hadn't been to any parties recently. Recognizing an opportunity for some mischief I nabbed the phone and responded:
"The one that puked on my shoes?"
It wasn't long before we received a reply:
"lol. no, i was wearing the red, yellow, and blue bikini, remember?"
Suddenly my little project got a lot more interesting. I know just what to say back:
"Maybe a picture would refresh my memory..."
At this point I was sure I'd pushed the envelope too far and Kylie would at last realize her mistake. The response came quicker than I expected:
"lol k hold on"
Kicking myself for not asking for her credit card number I waited patiently. Cassie was also involved with this as well, although I wasn't sure what her thoughts on it were. Maybe she thought it was funny, maybe she thought I was really immature, maybe she was awaiting the photo of the bikini clad minor with greater anticipation than I. Either way, I was past the point of no return.
Sure enough, a few minutes later we received a message, this time in picture format. The girl couldn't have been over 15 years old, clothed in the aforementioned red, yellow, and blue bikini, and seductively holding an Otter Pop to her mouth. At this point I felt it would be best to end my little project before it spiraled out of control and ended up with me in jail. I wrote back:
"Let me ask you a question. Who do you think you are texting?"
"adam"
"I think you've got the wrong number. Thanks for the picture though."
"who is this?"
"Nobody you know."
"oh, i'm sorry. will you delete that pic?"
"Sure, no prob. Better luck next time."
The picture was eventually deleted from Cassie's cell phone, but not before it it was transferred to a more secure location inside my Hotmail inbox. Some may think it was cruel of me to do what I did. I disagree, I think I was doing that young woman a valuable service. She could have gotten someone a lot worse, who could've gone a lot farther with her. Instead she got me, a caring teacher with unorthodox methods. Say what you want about my actions, but that little girl is going to think twice about texting pictures to strangers from now on. So yes, I do feel like I've made the world a safer place. Let this be a lesson to all.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
FireTeeth
My name is David Kendall, I'm 24 and live in West Valley, Utah with my wife Cassie. I don't like tomato sauce. I was coerced to start this blog by my friend Nick, his blog can be found here.
In homage to Nix Blog, my first blog will blog about the name of my blog. A while back I was in church with Nick and his little nephew Cameron, who was probably 5 or 6 at the time. I can't remember the nature of the conversation but I mentioned something about someones teeth spontaneously ejecting from their mouth (I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes, I routinely talk about morbid and disturbing images in the presence of children). Anyway, to illustrate my point I brought my closed fist to my mouth, fingers out, and quickly extended my fingers to simulate the jettisoning bicuspids. Well, Cameron interpreted this demonstration as flames originating from my mouth. He said something along the lines of, "Yeah, and they'll have fire teeth!". Well, we found this unnatural juxtaposition of words to be quite comical and aesthetically pleasing, so the term stuck, becoming a slurry of usernames, Xbox Live gamertags, and blog names.
In homage to Nix Blog, my first blog will blog about the name of my blog. A while back I was in church with Nick and his little nephew Cameron, who was probably 5 or 6 at the time. I can't remember the nature of the conversation but I mentioned something about someones teeth spontaneously ejecting from their mouth (I know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes, I routinely talk about morbid and disturbing images in the presence of children). Anyway, to illustrate my point I brought my closed fist to my mouth, fingers out, and quickly extended my fingers to simulate the jettisoning bicuspids. Well, Cameron interpreted this demonstration as flames originating from my mouth. He said something along the lines of, "Yeah, and they'll have fire teeth!". Well, we found this unnatural juxtaposition of words to be quite comical and aesthetically pleasing, so the term stuck, becoming a slurry of usernames, Xbox Live gamertags, and blog names.
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